Just when I was pretty sure I was going to be able to handle my situation, something else comes along to knock me down. When I woke up this morning I went out to check on my horse, Wally. He was laying down in his field and didn't get up when I spoke to him. For a horse, that's *REALLY* unusual. So I put shoes on Simon & take him outside so I can check to see if the horse is just sleeping harder than usual. I go out there & again, the horse doesn't move much. I was going to have to call the vet. I had a doctor's appointment today though, so that made it a bit more difficult. I called the vet & when she got here, she called me and told me it didn't look good. She thinks he may have contracted West Nile Virus. Long story short... I had to euthanize my horse this afternoon. The backhoe just left after digging a hole & burying him in a corner of our pasture.
Wally & I began our relationship about 4 years ago. We've had some great times. We've also had our share of problems. In May of 2006, Andrew got trampled by Wally while trying to do a 'John Wayne' move & mount him bareback from the ground. Andrew was pretty slow in recovering - especially since he lost his spleen, bruised his kidney & pancreas, and bruised/broke a couple ribs. Since then though, Wally & Andrew seemed to have made up and were quite friendly w/ each other. Of course, Andrew was only comfortable w/ him on the other side of the fence, but that was pretty easy. I've been worrying about Wally lately b/c of all my medical stuff keeping us away from home so much. I guess I don't have to worry any more. I was trying to sell him, but again, I don't have to worry about that either.
I put calls into my OB and my oncologist to see how concerned I need to be as a pregnant cancer patient about West Nile so close to home. There are vaccines for horses (and other animals), but none available for people yet. Its transmitted by mosquito - something we have an abundance of here at home. My oncologist spoke to the infectious disease doctor at the hospital to check. All they could really tell me is that I need to not get bitten by a mosquito. My OB told me to watch for a rash and/or numbness and to avoid contact w/ animals. The last is the hard part b/c we have 2 beagles (one sleeps in the house w/ us) and 2 cats. I should really avoid the cats b/c they're both solid black & we all know that superstition...
All in all, I had a pretty crappy day. Started w/ the sick horse, now dead horse. Mid-day I started feeling sick while running errands with my mom. Now I'm crying b/c I think everything is overwhelming me. Oh well...
I am just your average Catholic gal, but becoming a mother and a cancer patient has changed me beyond belief. I owe it all to my wonderful family: husband, son, and daughter! Here you will read my ravings, rantings, and rationalizations. I am quite wordy and nerdy. Simon and Rachel tell me many things, but most of all they remind me... I need to remember my purpose for life - living, loving, and being as God has planned for me!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
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Smiling already at 2 weeks
And two shall become one...
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2 comments:
It's a bummer all around, but HANG IN THERE!!! Just remember that people you don't even know (kinda like me!) are praying for you!!
Keep saying over and over to yourself...."this is just temporary"! Just keep pushing through. Chemo is NOT pleasant and it must be 10 times worse when you have a little one growing inside of you. But you WILL get through it! I'm praying for you!
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