Luckily, so far in my parenting adventure I have not had a situation quite like Mary and Joseph faced. However, in my own little way, I have experienced some of the anxiety associated with searching for a child. Mine was much less dramatic.
Andrew, Simon, Rachel, and I were lounging around the house one evening. The kids were flitting in and out of the living room. Typically, for our house, if we couldn't see them, we could hear them. I don't remember exactly what we were doing, but suddenly I noticed that I wasn't hearing Rachel. I walked throughout the house calling her name. I looked in all her favorite hiding places: the shower stall, her closet, Simon's room, my closet, even the kitchen cabinets. I thought I had looked every where, so I anxiously went to the back door and peered through the glass. No sign of her.
I finally asked Andrew if he'd seen her. He too began searching throughout the house calling her name. We spoke briefly of our fear that she'd learned to open the doorknob and gone outside. Our search became more frantic. It doesn't take very long to search a 1750 square foot house with an open floor plan.
Finally I heard Andrew exclaim, "I found her!" I rushed from the other end of the house to see him pull a grinning Rachel out from under our bed. I hadn't considered that space because Rachel's pleasantly plump figure dwarfs it. Andrew just then mentioned that she'd hidden under the bed previously. We gently chided her... Ok ok, I admit we were not quite yelling, but not terribly quiet either. I still can't believe that my vocal, extremely active, 2 year old little girl could hide under the bed without making noise or coming out to see what all the fuss was about. That night, Andrew and I discussed how happy we were that our children aren't lost or ill. Our joy in finding Rachel was complete.
So as I think about Mary and Joseph on their way home from Jerusalem finally figuring out they lost Jesus, my heart drops for them. I mean, Rachel is my miracle baby no doubt, but Jesus was entrusted to Mary and Joseph by God because He was God's only begotten Son! As God-fearing Jews, Mary and Joseph probably had fairly strict rules governing their lives, especially for Jesus.
In my mind's eye I can't quite picture Jesus as a child, much less a teenager. Jesus was on the cusp of His teenage years when this event occurred. Yet, I have a hard time imagining Him laughing at His parents or being a smart aleck. However, His recorded response, "Did you not know that I must be about my Father's business?" seems to me to be a little bit defiant. After all, it had been three days since they'd seen Him. God the Father had put Him in their care. They were likely mindless with worry. In Hs wisdom, Jesus would have known they would come looking for Him. He was their Holy child and Savior of the world.
I don't feel as if I've ever lost Jesus in my life. I have definitely had difficult times, but I don't recall ever feeling as if I had lost Jesus. I've lost hope before and I've pondered why my life is so crazy sometimes, but I feel confident that God has a plan for me, I just don't understand. However, there are times when I come to the realization that something clicked into place and the joy I felt when we found Rachel is replicated in my heart and soul. This joy is difficult to describe and sometimes I cannot even pin-point the change in myself. I pray that I can maintain this joy in my life at random times just to be sure I am in close contact with Jesus. I pray that each and everyone who reads my words and about my journey can feel that same joy some day.
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