Thursday, May 31, 2012

Shades of Grey?

Most people know about the newest craze with the trilogy of Fifty Shades of Grey. FaceBook and the blogosphere, as well as television are constantly tittering about this "revolutionary" book. I haven't read it (nor do I plan to), but I watched an interview with the author on 20/20. The author is a middle aged woman with at least one or two sons. She looked fairly normal, except for her apparent penchant for black leather. During the interview, she was asked if she wanted her boys (now or in the future) to read the book. She laughed nervously and basically said no way. Her answer lacks common sense. Her boys will likely be mercilessly teased and tormented about the contents by others. Even if I hadn't heard anything about the book, that serves as a warning. If a mother is too embarrassed for her children to read her work, then it apparently lacks merit. 

Reading the books, classified as "erotic fiction", is supposed to titillate and improve sex life. I've also heard it classified as "mommy porn". From what I gathered from her interview and various other commentary, the main theme is that of a man basically keeping a woman hostage and using her in sexually deviant ways. Bondage, sadism, and masochistic themes prevail throughout this novel. According to Dictionary.com, sadism, masochism, and bondage are all defined by degradation for sexual gratification. How exactly can degradation of a woman, as in this novel, be good for women? Can degradation of anyone be considered healthy, good, legal, or moral?

To the liberal crowd, there are many (dare I say 50?) shades of grey between right and wrong, depending on circumstances, especially when sexual intercourse is involved. Few or even no shades of grey exist between right and wrong for the morally conscious. Morally, the Church condemns pornography of all sorts -- including written. The Church also condemns sexual deviance. Yet, in today's world, pornography and sexual deviance are the implied norm since homosexual unions, promiscuity, orgies, prostitution, and even statutory rape are accepted by liberals. They argue they aren't in favor of the latter, but time and time again, undercover operations have elucidated complicity with this crime by terminating the after affects (abortions), preventing future after effects (birth control), skirting or even blatantly ignoring legalities, and not reporting instances of abuse. Sadly, the one abortion clinic in my state has even now been identified as promulgating this crime. pro-life advocates are labeled as anti-woman for enlightening the world of the sordid and often illegal events that take place in abortion clinics, while abortion giants like Planned Parenthood tout themselves as pro-woman. This novel also proclaims to be pro-woman, but with my knowledge of it, I cannot fathom how women can triumph when they are essentially being degraded for any reason. 

Lest I come across like a prude, I will admit, with some embarrassment, that I read romance novels, some are even Catholic or Christian. I avoid anything labeled erotic fiction, but the novels I read have romance, including intercourse, scattered throughout. Never have I used a romance novel as a sexual manual, nor have I read them to achieve sexual titillation or gratification. As a matter of fact, when I note that my husband fails to measure up to the chivalry and romance in the novels, I turn to other novels. You see, fictional works are just that -- fiction. Real life seldom measures up to fiction in any realm. Yet, again, today's society blurs the lines between reality and fiction with their numerous shades of grey. True women do not need shades of grey, we need respect, honor, and love.

Shades of Grey?

Most people know about the newest craze with the trilogy of Fifty Shades of Grey. FaceBook and the blogosphere, as well as television are constantly tittering about this "revolutionary" book. I haven't read it (nor do I plan to), but I watched an interview with the author on 20/20. The author is a middle aged woman with at least one or two sons. She looked fairly normal, except for her apparent penchant for black leather. During the interview, she was asked if she wanted her boys (now or in the future) to read the book. She laughed nervously and basically said no way. Her answer lacks common sense. Her boys will likely be mercilessly teased and tormented about the contents by others. Even if I hadn't heard anything about the book, that serves as a warning. If a mother is too embarrassed for her children to read her work, then it apparently lacks merit. 

Reading the books, classified as "erotic fiction", is supposed to titillate and improve sex life. I've also heard it classified as "mommy porn". From what I gathered from her interview and various other commentary, the main theme is that of a man basically keeping a woman hostage and using her in sexually deviant ways. Bondage, sadism, and masochistic themes prevail throughout this novel. According to Dictionary.com, sadism, masochism, and bondage are all defined by degradation for sexual gratification. How exactly can degradation of a woman, as in this novel, be good for women? Can degradation of anyone be considered healthy, good, legal, or moral?

To the liberal crowd, there are many (dare I say 50?) shades of grey between right and wrong, depending on circumstances, especially when sexual intercourse is involved. Few or even no shades of grey exist between right and wrong for the morally conscious. Morally, the Church condemns pornography of all sorts -- including written. The Church also condemns sexual deviance. Yet, in today's world, pornography and sexual deviance are the implied norm since homosexual unions, promiscuity, orgies, prostitution, and even statutory rape are accepted by liberals. They argue they aren't in favor of the latter, but time and time again, undercover operations have elucidated complicity with this crime by terminating the after affects (abortions), preventing future after effects (birth control), skirting or even blatantly ignoring legalities, and not reporting instances of abuse. Sadly, the one abortion clinic in my state has even now been identified as promulgating this crime. pro-life advocates are labeled as anti-woman for enlightening the world of the sordid and often illegal events that take place in abortion clinics, while abortion giants like Planned Parenthood tout themselves as pro-woman. This novel also proclaims to be pro-woman, but with my knowledge of it, I cannot fathom how women can triumph when they are essentially being degraded for any reason. 

Lest I come across like a prude, I will admit, with some embarrassment, that I read romance novels, some are even Catholic or Christian. I avoid anything labeled erotic fiction, but the novels I read have romance, including intercourse, scattered throughout. Never have I used a romance novel as a sexual manual, nor have I read them to achieve sexual titillation or gratification. As a matter of fact, when I note that my husband fails to measure up to the chivalry and romance in the novels, I turn to other novels. You see, fictional works are just that -- fiction. Real life seldom measures up to fiction in any realm. Yet, again, today's society blurs the lines between reality and fiction with their numerous shades of grey. True women do not need shades of grey, we need respect, honor, and love.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Veiled Joy


This morning I woke early to go to 9 am Mass with my parents and the kids. I usually sing upstairs in the choir loft, but speaking loudly is beyond me, much less singing, so I sat with the rest of the congregation. It is really difficult to contain the urge to use my talent to praise God. However, the kids were so excited to see me that I spent most of my time cuddling with them. Initially they fought over sitting by me. They finally settled though. Mom, Rachel, and I sported our hand-made veils. Rachel went so far as getting angry when Mass was over and I removed her veil. 

During the Consecration, I spoke in Simon's ear about what was happening. When I told him the chalice contained Jesus's blood, he was flabbergasted. Since he has seen two of his cousins receive First Holy Communion, I was able to explain that when he gets bigger he'll be able to receive Jesus in his belly to help him be a good boy. I also told him that Jesus is all around us all the time. I think he finally understood that praying is talking to God, not just randomly talking. hopefully this understanding will keep him from praying for "underpants", beds, tables, etc. Lately, he and Rachel have been obsessed with saying "underpants". In any situations that word is apparently appropriate. That is not only annoying, but also embarrassing!! 

After Holy Mass, I spent the morning at my parents' house with the kids. We ate "panny-cakes" and then the kids wanted to play. First, tragedy struck. Simon was vaguely playing outside. By vaguely I mean that he was coming in and out constantly. On one such occasion, I opened the door and told him to stop running in and out, then I shut the door. I immediately opened it again amid Rachel's wails of pain. Simon's darting in and out what actually teasing Rachel. So she stuck her finger in the crack of the door away from the knob. I didn't see that, so I shut the door like normal, until she began crying. I flattened her poor finger. It was very dramatic too because she has gotten to the stage where she doesn't want to show you her boo-boos. Thankfully, it may still be sore, but it looks fine.

That's when the first organizational session happened. During brunch, my parents and I had been talking about a missing toy. After brunch, the kids had gotten some toys out to play with, however, they hadn't stuck to the house-rule of putting away the first set of toys before getting out a new set. So toys were strewn in all corners of the living room. I commandeered the kids into picking up toys, while I helped them put them away. Except I got much more involved in it than even I intended. 

Mom and I subscribe to the OCD mother's method of toy sorting. Toys that are similar are packed in a bag or box together. Then the boxes and bags are out in the toy box (or closet depending). Then when the kids want to play with something, they know to grab the appropriate container. They also know which container to bring for each set of toys. This keeps the house neat and keeps the kids from getting tired of the same toys (we alternate toys in the closet or toy box for play). I can also keep more toys in a smaller space than if they were just thrown haphazard into the toy box. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!

Sunday, May 6, 2012

NFP =\= Catholic Birth Control

There is a huge misconception about NFP, that it is merely Catholic “birth control”. While NFP can be used to avoid pregnancy, it is also highly effective at tracking and treating women’s health issues without the use of the ‘band-aid’ of birth control. NFP has proven effective at helping women deal with their gynecological issues (endometriosis, PCOD, PMS, pelvic pain, amenorrhea, dysmenorrhea, etc), as well as space their pregnancies, accurately date their pregnancies, and effectively determine any problems with pregnancy. Even when NFP is used to avoid pregnancy, to do so requires great sacrifice and daily planning and acceptance. That essentially prevents most casual “birth control mentality” users from abusing the system.

Not only is NFP a moral alternative to avoiding pregnancy; it is also highly effective at achieving pregnancy. That is yet another reason why NFP is not Catholic birth control -- the exact same system can be used to achieve and maintain pregnancy! No birth control drugs can claim that! Contrary to what many main-stream media outlets (including American Pregnancy, the CDC, WHO, etc) indicate, NFP has been thoroughly reviewed in peer-reviewed journals. Not to mention that NFP has been used with approximately a 100% effectiveness rate for avoiding and a 71% effectiveness rate for achieving pregnancy (the first statistic is true for Third World countries; the second is for couples with primary or secondary infertility in the US). As a matter of fact, NFP is more successful and much less invasive than IVF.

Another misconception the mainstream touts is that NFP is difficult to learn, practice, and understand. Learning NFP is no more difficult (and far less invasive) than being examined by a doctor to be given a prescription for birth control. Most methods have a manual, online information, and face-to-face instructors (complete with email addresses, phone numbers, etc) to guide you through the learning (and practice) issues you may encounter. As a matter of fact, NFP instructors invariably have actually used the system themselves. While having control over your urges for intimacy can be difficult, the benefits far outweigh the deficits. After all, no other method lets you bond as intimately as NFP. Tracking fertility signs literally takes about 3 extra seconds for each use of the toilet. Actually, evaluating the fertility signs is probably something most women do without realizing it on a daily basis. So, all-in-all, the mainstream (yet again) misinforms the public about the best option for family planning.

So from a women's health perspective, NFP has many more benefits (and less deficits) than birth control. From a moral perspective, again, NFP has many more benefits than deficits than birth control. From a financial perspective, once again, NFP has more benefits than deficits. It is hard to believe that it is not more widely taught and practiced. There is no risk of personal harm when NFP is practiced, unlike birth control, abortion, and IVF. So why not investigate NFP instead of blindly following the mainstream?

This is a site claiming no ties to any particular NFP method. http://nfpsite.aldred.org/primer.php

This is a site that embodies care for women as it's purpose. http://www.naprotechnology.com/ncwh.htm

This site has a list of references to NFP, what it does, who it can help, and journal articles about it. http://www.naprotechnology.com/references.htm

This is a page that explains the scientific foundation of the Creighton Model of Fertility Awareness. http://www.unleashingthepower.info/PDFs/IA-SciFoundationCrMS.pdf

This is a page with information on NFP verses IVF. http://www.physiciansforlife.org/index2.php?option=com_content&do_pdf=1&id=2059

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Smiling already at 2 weeks

Smiling already at 2 weeks
Rachel has been smiling as a response to other people since day one.

And two shall become one...

And two shall become one...
In 2006, Andrew & I became one before God and family! Shortly thereafter we became 3 with the birth of Simon in 2008... Then 4 with the addition of Rachel in 2009!

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